7 tips for a successful marriage

It was my anniversary yesterday and Mothers Day. Two amazing celebrations recognized in one special day. #ifeelblessed. I know I don’t always get that personal with you ( only cause you would probably get bored at my little life out here in the country) , I am today. And although I am not the worlds leading expert on how to pick the perfect mate ( because we are far from it) , you know the one who does the laundry, cooks , cleans and does the grocery shopping (my hubby loves to grocery shop and cook, he stinks at laundry and cleaning), I am qualified to speak to what has worked for me during my union of the last 17 years of marriage to my soulmate and the kindest, most caring and thoughtful man that I have ever met. I actually never thought I would be one of those gals to be able to offer up marriage advice. It took me a while to find him since I was playing for keeps ( I was 33 when we got married) but I know that I will have him for the rest of my forever, by focusing on my 7 tips for a successful marriage.  

Love your relationship by loving yourself first. This is so important in just about every facet of our life. A lot of times, how we feel about ourselves determines how we will treat and care for other situations. Your spouse, kids and friendships will reap the benefits of a happier, more content person.  Chances are if you are not mentally and or physically content or satisfied, then your marriage may often times encounter problems.

You know the saying , if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

Appreciate your differences. Although we are compatible in many ways, we also have some key differences in our  personalities and style. Rather then seeing the differences as a negative factor or attribute , we look at our differences with appreciation and respect….with an eye roll here or there.

Date each other Keep the romance going. Date like you did before you got married. And why would you not. My heart still pitter patters when I am getting ready to go out on date night when my husband, just as it did when we first met. Often times you hear how “things” change once you get married but the reality is it doesn’t have to change, unless you make it change. 

Make time for each other  Throughout the week my husband and I carve out special times for each other, this is especially important if we don’t have frequent date nights. During lunch time, which we call ‘date day’ we generally will walk and get caught up on kid stuff, household stuff and just talk.  Our favorite time together is Saturday mornings when we will drink our tea together and watch home improvement shows….and I talk about all the projects that I want and need him to do.  What’s important is just to find what works for your schedules, whether it’s 5 mins or 30 mins and do it. A successful marriage is one that has a mix of individual, family, and couple time. 

Complement each other I love it when I  have a ratty ole tee on, my hair piled on top of my head,  I have been outside working in the yard, sweaty and gross and my husband will tell me how beautiful I am.  Complements are key and a sign of your spouses acknowledgment and appreciation of you and what you are doing. My goal is to complement something about my husband each day, often times it’s as simple as saying ‘thanks for being a great husband or ‘you are the best dad ever’.

Treat the relationship with your spouse as the most important thing in your life  Nothing is more important in my marriage then the relationship I have with my husband. When you stack our careers, children, finances and the issues that come up in life, I can with certainty say that we overcome adversity because of the strength, commitment and understanding in our relationship ( along with our faith)  and our ability to work through it together.

 similiar dress/mens shirt/shorts/sunglasses (above)

Marriage takes work …and it’s not always easy and blissful. Before I said ‘I do’ I never would have thought that marriage would require such care and work….but it does and that’s okay because I am prepared and ready and have a spouse that is just as committed as I am, for the more then we want marital pitfalls that are bound to come our way. And as long as we both understand that the most important thing we can do in our marriage is to work on it,  then we will continue to have our date nights and silly selfies……. for a lifetime. 

So whether you are planning to get married, married for a week or married for 50 years, cheers and best wishes to you. Being with the one you love is something to celebrate!

In addition to my top 7 tips for a successful marriage, what tips do you have?

grateful

for the love of my life

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